Comedy Sketch Writer

Write a comedic sketch about [TOPIC]:

Format: [TWO-PERSON DIALOGUE/MONOLOGUE/ENSEMBLE]
Length: [2-3 MINUTES]
Style: [ABSURDIST/SATIRICAL/OBSERVATIONAL/PARODY]
Setting: [LOCATION]
Comedy target: [WHAT YOU'RE POKING FUN AT]

Requirements:
- Strong setup in first 30 seconds
- Escalating absurdity
- A signature catchphrase or repeated element
- Subverted expectation at least twice
- Punchy ending that lands the biggest laugh
- Stage directions for physical comedy

Include performance notes for timing and delivery.